On preserving self-belief

Through bumpy paths / Issue 1,383

Oh, hi friends!

Do you need encouragement from other people? 

Yeah. I do, too. 

It's nice to hear if something is working. You're on the right track. You're an integral part of the team. 

Awards are pretty neat, too. Shiny! Official approval stamps that you're in the club.

Would you like a mentor? Mmm they are key! A creative shepherd. Maybe your mentor is someone you know online, someone whose books you read or whose content always makes you say, "yes finally someone gets it."

Support is good. Support helps.

Support is also, almost comically and cosmically, fleeting.

So let's look across the train platform and see a different track.

Here's one.

It's called preserving self-belief.

I was texting my friend Marialena the other day about how I wasn't going to an event because I knew "it would probably make me feel bad about myself." 

Seeing other people do something you want to do but aren't doing because [insert reasons here] is a quickie shortcut to feeling bad about yourself. (Or maybe that's just me?)

But instead of walking in that direction, the other option is: Maybe don't go? Don't put yourself in that situation. 

"It's about preserving self-belief," the wise Marialena texted. I understood that completely.

This is very different from believing in yourself, which I guess would be the cliched form of phrasing. 

Believing in yourself can feel amorphous. Boundary-less.

Preserving self-belief indicates, to me, that you already believe in yourself — whether a lot or a little, oh boy doesn't it vary by the day — and that everything you do is an act of preservation. Of protection. Of staying in the bubble. 

Preserving self-belief means you've probably taken a leap — launched, enrolled, submitted, started — and now your job, truly your one and only job, is to continue believing:

I can do this.

I can do this.

I can do this.

That, actually, you are. 

Preserving self-belief means getting back to the computer after a crappy week of no-writing. (brb trademarking Crappy Week of No-Writing)

Preserving self-belief means removing yourself from situations or people that have a history of making you feel bad about yourself.

Preserving self-belief means understanding you are deserving of the absolute best teammates, collaborators, and advocates.

Preserving self-belief means saying "no" to one thing you really don't want to do because you know you're freeing space for something better to come. (And it is coming.)

Preserving self-belief means ignoring trends that are uninteresting to you.

Preserving self-belief means keeping the flame lit amid distractions, requests, external circumstances, and the generally annoying tasks of living a modern life.

Preserving self-belief means showing back up to work after disappointment.

Preserving self-belief means believing in your potential more than anyone else can ever possibly fathom.

Preserving self-belief means you know when a great idea is a great idea — and your mind will not be changed.

Preserving self-belief means appreciating external support but never exclusively relying on it.

Preserving self-belief means putting more faith in your voice and vision than in feedback or statistics. 

Preserving self-belief means deciding instead of reacting.

Preserving self-belief means trusting you've barely begun living the prologue — and you've got a good, long, exciting book ahead of you.

But also that you've got no time to waste.

So. 

Whatever you have to do this week to preserve your own self-belief, I hope you do it. 

Like I always say, I believe you can. 

But the only thing that matters — the only thing that will sustain you through the down days and the long jumps and the bumpy paths — is if you believe you can.

Believe it.