External validation, where are you?

Let’s solve the mystery, my friends / Issue 1,125

Oh, hi friends!

Who controls what happens next for you?

Are you waiting on a gatekeeper or an external validator or an arbitrary deadline?

Are you waiting on the fancy award or your coach’s words of wisdom or your agent to pick up the phone or your best friend’s advice?

Who actually controls what happens next for you?

You.

You are in control. 

You get to choose where you’re going.

In the words of Mark Duplass, “The cavalry isn’t coming.”

No one will arrive with the right words and a magic wand.

Yes, you can apply for opportunities and seek validation and nurture important relationships. (I am writing this after a day spent researching a fellowship, checking my Amazon rankings, and reading a writer’s bio to see what they’ve won and when — so yes, I’m swimming around in this external validation muck, too!)

But again and again, it comes back to one central idea.

Above all, you have to believe in yourself.

Create a structure to finish your most important work.

Get it up and out any way you can.

Connect with people in a genuine way.

Give without expectation.

Pick a direction. 

Go there.

Everyone else can just watch you do the work.

Let them.

You control what happens next for you.