An invigorating close to the week
Two steps back, one leap forward / Issue 1,447
Oh, hi friends!
I'm alive! You're alive. We're alive together.
Two weeks ago, I wasn't in the mood to write a newsletter, and told myself: I'll do it tomorrow. Then tomorrow became today became yesterday became two weeks. And here we are. That’s what happens.
I don't love forcing myself to write newsletters because my goal is to create an encouraging environment. To help you think about your life or project in a fresh way.
So if I'm in a discouraged or cranky mood, the last thing I want to do is…fake it.
Inauthenticity smells. You always know when it's nearby.
Anyway, I was in an off mood for boring reasons (a construction project in our building has dragged on for months, upending our schedules and involving workers coming in and out of our apartment constantly and even typing this I am so bored out of my gourd but it's finally basically finished and we having a working air conditioner to show for it which is great since New York is 90 degrees) BUT WHO CARES because I'm currently riding high from nine hours of sleep and iced coffee and want to tell you what I've been observing lately in myself and conversations with friends.
(Thank you for indulging the erratic nature of this email.)
You forgot how to make the brave choice.
I was talking to one friend about how in our 20s we were almost creatively reckless. Try this! Contact him! Do something you've never done! But with time comes comparison and with comparison comes self-constraint.
This is the danger zone, isn't it?
Think about the precipice you're on right now.
What is the most bold and brave choice you could make? The choice 22-year-old you would have already made?
Excuses are a cozy cover.
They didn't choose me.
I don't know the rules or regulations.
But this isn't how it's done.
I can't think because of the loud drilling between 9am and 4pm.
I believe that we crave — and look for — excuses not to do our best work. (Of course there are always real and valid reasons blah blah blah.) But we train our brains to look for an out.
Like, for example, you are chasing a shiny bauble. (Opportunity, prize, connection, etc.) You wait to hear back. The bauble bobbles by. You don't get it. You stop. You wait.
Another bauble dangles in the distance. You consider. You reach. The bauble falls, missing your outstretched hand by inches. You don't get it. You stop. You wait.
There are so many temptations to get off track.
One solution, maybe, is to make it more tempting to stay on the track.
I've been reminding myself how fun it is to talk about ideas, engage with people, and actually get lost in the work. This is stupidly simple!!! But we need these reminders and these lessons over and over again.
Some questions to ask:
What is fun for you?
What do you like to do?
Which periods of your life felt most alive?
What is available to you right now?
You haven't shared your best stuff yet.
Why not?
You are absolutely more ready than you think you are.
8 Things That Made My Weeks Brighter and Better
My friend Mark Armstrong released his first single in 16 years. It's called "Good Dreams," and it's wonderful. Also wonderful: The essay he wrote for Oldster about finding his voice again in midlife, in which he writes, "Life is far too short to give up the things that bring you joy." YES!
Also giving me joy: this baby white handed gibbon named Eros. (h/t Colin, of course)
I read Theatre Kids: A True Tale of Off-Off Broadway in two speedy days. John DeVore writes about performing in a four-hour experimental version of William Faulkner's As I Lay Dying, what theater meant to him then and now, and the ambition and drive required to maintain a singular focus. I love this book for its honesty and beautiful sentences and much more. (Bookshop, Amazon)
I watched the auction of Stephen Sondheim's collectibles and antiques for hours this week. A collection of four thesauruses sold for $25,600!!! (Not to me, sadly.)
We did something rash and went to Chicago for 24 hours to see Little Bear Ridge Road, a new play by Samuel D. Hunter (!), directed by Joe Mantello (!!), starring Laurie Metcalf (!!!). It was the first time I've been to Steppenwolf and I floated out of the theater in full fandom mode with a Steppenwolf book and T-shirt, my heart full with the reminder of the work I love to see and experience. It was perfect.
Colin and I devoured the TV series Mr Bates vs The Post Office, which is available through PBS Masterpiece, because of course it is. Brilliant writing — and Toby Jones!
Getting back on the newsletter horse today feels great. Brighter!
Finally, this 105-year-old grandma just received her masters degree from Stanford. One hundred and five. Years. Old.
If it wasn't too late for her, then it's not too late for you, too.
Alright pals, thanks for sticking with me. I feel renewed.
Remember to surround yourself with the people, artifacts, and entertainment that renew you, too.
And I always love to hear what those are for you.
Happy weekend, and see you Monday.
Loved Mr. Bates and the Post Office! Fun to know you are a fellow fan. Why aren't there more programs like this? Love, too, that you went to Chicago to see that play and that it that the experience lit you up. Here's to more experiences like that!
I bet if you'd been writing a newsletter every day the last two weeks, you'd NEVER have turned out one as good as this!!!
Thanks for the reminder to do the brave thing AND to stay on track.
This was super-inspiring! You made a big difference! (And I'm reminded of that every day when I look to the top of my computer and see the sign I made that says your quote (and subsequently my phrase of the year) SOLID INCREMENTAL PROGRESS