I wrote you a movie
It's a thriller with a good ending / Issue 1,361
Oh, hi friends!
I want to write a horror movie called Lingerers.
In this film, our intrepid protagonist tries to go about her life, but around every corner she's haunted by — yes — Lingerers.
Tiny, creepy, anthropomorphized tasks and obligations that looove to linger.
(You know the ones: the bills, appointments, responses, edits, invoices, et al.)
The film takes place during the first week of January.
Lingerers love January.
You ignored me in November…
You ignored me in December…
But you can't ignore me anymore…
Oh friends, Lingerers are incredibly annoying. They're not even cute or fuzzy! Or fun to have around!
So in this horror movie, if our protagonist — that's you — wants to live, they're gonna have to kill the Lingerers.
Stake 'em, bake 'em, filet 'em.
Whatever it takes.
You gotta sweep away the Lingerers from last year to clear a path for this year.
Go get 'em.
My lingerers are also loud! Screaming "It'll take hours to get rid of me" when in reality, they all take, at most, 15 minutes or so... 🙄
"Lingerers" is one of your best columns, Kara--and that's leaping over a consistently high bar!
Happy New Year,
Doug Hedlund