A gentle close to the week
Overcoming two kinds of stress and underestimating being a fan / Issue 1,213
Oh, hi friends!
A few thoughts from this week, plus my favorite dog in Rome.
It is much harder to sell something you don’t believe in. So you should either stop trying to sell it, or start believing in it.
There are two different flavors of stress: stress that arrives when you don’t have enough to do and stress that arrives when you have too much to do. The first kind of stress might mean you should add something to your day. Create a boundary. Shrink the day’s container. The second kind of stress might mean you should subtract something from your day. Decline the invite. Define your “closing time,” the moment where stop working.
If you don’t know what to do next, lay out your options and ask a friend to decide for you. If you don’t like their suggestion, at least now you have something to push against and guide your real decision.
It doesn’t matter how you got the job. What matters is what you do in the job.
Maybe you sleep better on vacation because your phone isn’t within arm’s reach. Remember that you can charge your phone in the other room when you’re at home, too.
Making a request isn’t the same as asking for a favor. Few circumstances are actually favors, when you think about it. Usually, the other person has something to gain, too! So you might as well make the request. (Yes, now is the time to send the email you meant to send all week.)
I saw Twyla Tharp on the street yesterday while I was riding my bike. I called out, “Twyla!” She looked over. “Huge fan!” She said thank you, and I rode away. Few exchanges make me feel as happy as telling someone I enjoy their work — even when it’s quick, even if they’ve heard it a million times before, even if I feel sort of goofy. Being a fan is underrated. Showing appreciation makes you levitate.
My fortune cookie from last night’s dinner was: Life is a verb.
Finally, you can’t hit a goal if you don’t define it first. So you might as well define it. Say it. What do you want next?
A Section Called Things That I Like and Want to Share
Actor friends: My brother Eric Cotti is leading a one-day immersive workshop on Monday, April 17. It’s an audition intensive that covers on-camera technique and bringing your most calm and confident self to opportunities. He is an exceptional coach and exceptionally devoted to his craft. I almost want to become an actor just so I can learn from him!! More details here. You don’t want to miss it.
Longtime readers might remember the yearly debut of Falcon Cam, that special springtime event where a camera records the movements of the peregrine falcons living at 55 Water Street in downtown Manhattan. The falcons are currently sitting on four (!) eggs. I’ll be watching intensely.
The YouTube algorithm led me to Benjamin Clementine, a magnetic singer-songwriter I’m ashamed to say I hadn’t heard of. His NPR Tiny Desk concert is terrific. That voice.
Also, my friend Nikki Carter moved her excellent newsletter Will & Way over to Substack — especially useful for freelancers, entrepreneurs, those with personal writing projects. Check it out here.
Nikki has also generously offered to gift a copy of my new journal Do It Today to anyone who would like a copy but is unable to afford it right now. Let me know if you could use some encouragement for one of your projects and we’ll make that happen.
Oh, and here’s the Roman dog! And owner. Going into…their home?! I could write a whole novel starting from this blurry photo.
Happy spring weekend, my dear friends!
Again, ROME! So wonderful.
Thank you for the link to the Falcon Cam! I had forgotten about it as I'm obsessed with the Big Bear Bald Eagle Cam. Shadow and Jackie laid 2 eggs this year, but neither hatched - sad. BUT! They are now acting like they might lay more eggs. So I quote Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder!) "The suspense is terrible, I hope it'll last!"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4-L2nfGcuE
And if you subscribe to the channel, they do fun little shortened recap videos of various events that happened the day before. Like when they bring HUGE sticks to make the nest bigger, or fish they've caught, then they eat. It's really a nice check in every day! And now I'll add the falcons!
Hi Kara. So glad you had a great time on your Rome vacation. But, selfishly, so glad you're back home.
About six years ago, I got a "new" job - my old job was a nightmare. This one is a dream come true. Honestly, I've never felt like I deserved it. A friend said I'd be perfect. A professor said I'd be a great hire. People believed in me when I did not. (I'm pretty sure I botched the phone interview.) Even now, 6+ years later, it feels like "luck" was handed to me. Then I read your item number 4: It doesn’t matter how you got the job. What matters is what you do in the job.
Thank you for that a million times over. I am a huge fan of yours!