Turning down the lottery to follow her writing dreams
Oh, hi friends!
“My friend so-and-so” is probably my most-used word phrase in this newsletter, for two reasons: If we’ve met once (or never met at all) I will likely call you a friend, because why not!
And also I’ve worked in a few places over the years and always seem to find brilliant, kind, ambitious people who have their hands in many different projects. (Actually “projects” is probably my most-used phrase…!)
These friends always provide clarity and inspiration, and I thought you might like to meet them, too.
So here’s Carrie Seim, with whom I once climbed the Great Wall of China and have watched in awe in recent years as she navigates new careers and writing projects as gracefully as she scaled those stones.
Her middle-grade book Horse Girl was just released and, no surprise, it’s full of charm and wit and heart — just like her!
You’re one of the busiest multi-hyphenates I know (writer! editor! narrator! comedian!). How do you decide what to do next?
I used to pretend I had a plan, but the truth is, I have no idea! I’m more of a “it will all make sense when you look back” kind of person. Who would have guessed that auditioning for the Groundlings would lead to me becoming a dating correspondent for Tyra Banks (don’t ask!), which would lead me to writing funny (and serious) stories for newspapers and magazines, which would lead to me writing for Nickelodeon, which would lead me to writing a tween horse novel, which would lead me to writing for a new kids’ news show, which will lead me to performing at the Groundlings again? I did not have a five-year plan for all this! But confidence and competence and hard work will take you to some fascinating places.
Here’s what I do know: mixing up your creative worlds and leaping quickly on opportunities that feel both exhilarating and scary will usually point you toward the next right step. Also — and this is so important — find a friend who will help you say yes even when you’re terrified. I nearly said no to writing a book because the undertaking felt too massive and I didn’t feel up to the challenge. A good friend convinced me to say yes by reminding me that I could always change my mind later. It’s such a powerful trick when you’re trying to be brave. After every chapter I wrote, I told myself: You can always quit. You can always return the advance. (Horse Girl has been out for three months, and I still haven’t touched my advance, just in case I change my mind.)
I still often think about your New York Times article featuring folks who transformed their summers into a creative hiatus, like Trent Preszler, who told friends he was “building a canoe” (because he was, literally) and that he’d see them in August. Any advice for people who want to build their own canoes this summer?
I love this question! First of all because I just talked about the importance of saying yes, but I also love talking about the power of saying no. But more importantly, I’d love to explore a rare experience you and I share. We met in China (where the two of us almost fell off the Great Wall!) at a time when we were both deeply entrenched in the luxury travel writing world. Shortly after that trip, we both decided to hang up our passports (at least professionally). I think very few people understood why we gave up that ridiculously glamorous jet-set life. Every day my inbox would light up with another press trip invitation to Tahiti or to Madagascar or to the Galapagos. It felt like winning the lottery every single day.
But I realized that if I did want to write a book or dream up a movie or find a fulfilling relationship, I needed to turn down the lottery. I had to go home from the party and do the work required. It’s hard to leave the party! It’s miserable to sit alone in a chair! But I knew in my heart that I’m proudest of myself when I’m creating something from nothing. So I had to make that choice.
Then I somehow signed up to write two books in one year while still doing my day job editing (whyyyyyy????) and I knew I was in deep trouble. I desperately needed time to focus and write at nights and on weekends, but I felt guilty about saying no to social events or family events or work events.
So my dear friend Trent (author of the new bestselling memoir Little and Often) taught me the phrase: “Sorry, I can’t, I’m building a canoe.” He actually was building a canoe at the time. But the concept is incredibly helpful for any big creative project. Come up with a short and simple answer that will satisfy everyone — the same way you’d breezily turn down an event if you were out of town. “Sorry I can’t, I’m in Egypt.” “Sorry I can’t, I’m writing a novel.” “Sorry I can’t, I’m launching Hot Pockets 2.0.” People will understand and respect your big project. And you’ll save so much mental energy and guilt when you have a go-to reason why you’re saying no.
What pushed you over the finish line to get Horse Girl out of the gate and into the world?
First, allow me to compliment you on an exquisite horse pun! And next? Here’s the deal. Writing fiction is hard. So very hard. I had to find a way to hypnotize myself into another state to be able to do it…I often look back at the two books I’ve written and have no idea who wrote those sentences. I think you have to lose yourself or leave yourself in order to do it.
The only way I got through both books was through bribery. I had to write so many words each day before I could do anything else. I’d just write the darn things, if only so I could go out for a walk or take a shower. The pages were sometimes terrible. But if I kept stopping every time something was terrible, I knew I’d never finish. It’s funny — I frequently doubt myself as a writer, but I rarely doubt myself as an editor. I had to convince myself to have faith that Editor Carrie would come in to save the day if Writer Carrie just suffered through it and did her absolute best in that moment.
On a practical note: The biggest gift you can give yourself is an outline. I failed to do this before I started writing Horse Girl (the hubris!) and regretted it deeply. I learned from that mistake and outlined The Flying Flamingo Sisters within an inch of its life. An outline is a way of taking care of your future self, who can click it open and know exactly where she’s supposed to go the next day. You can of course play around with the final destination, but nobody ever regretted having a map in their back pocket,
Also? Don’t wait for the perfect circumstances to write! After years of writing on deadline in a booming, open floor plan newsroom — and most recently on the floor of a sound stage, rewriting scenes while they were literally filming — I’ve learned to lock in and do the work, loud distractions be damned. Don’t wait for the contest or the quiet room or whatever the permission is — just do the darn thing.
I take two lessons from this: 1. Never be too precious about waiting for the perfect place/time/mood to write. 2. Everything is preparation — your day job has things to teach you that will help you in your dream job. Pay attention!
When it comes to writing and creating, what is your "brass ring"? What are you always reaching for?
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. While writing Horse Girl, I got to revisit my adolescence — that magical in-between time where you can tap both the joys of childhood and the power of adulthood (and the angst of both!)
It made my think back on my most joyous childhood moments, which include my time performing in my Nebraska high school musical and show choir. I’m currently writing on a new kids’ show, and our magical writers room reminds me of that unbridled moment in time. The joy and audacity of working together to pull off a wildly creative and weird and crazy thing! After a couple of years of writing solo, I’m longing for the camaraderie of creating something with a team. Or at least finding ways to fold other writers’ guidance into my solo projects. My brass ring is recapturing that Waiting for Guffman feeling of putting on a big show together — that’s all I want to keep doing, forever and always.
What’s now and what’s next for your creative work life?
I’m writing and producing on a funny new kids’ news show called Kid Correspondent. And working on the sequel to The Flying Flamingo Sisters (my Audible Original radio drama series, inspired by my grandfather’s real 1930s flying circus) and working on adapting Horse Girl into a series. It’s busy and chaotic and terrifying and wonderful!
Where can people find you online?
On Instagram: @carriekseim
On Twitter: @ckseim
On the world webs: CarrieSeim.com
And where can people find Horse Girl?
HorseGirlBook.com has all the places to order, yee-haw!
Oh hi, it's Kara again. Isn't Carrie amazing?! If you'd like to share this interview with friends, here's a good link for that: see you again tomorrow!!
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Thanks, as always, for reading.
Love, Kara