Nudging your friends
Oh, hi friends!
Yesterday reminded me how nice it is to hear from people who have fallen away from your day-to-day or week-to-week routine. (Which is probably 80% of the people you know?)
Text someone hi today.
Send them a DM on Instagram.
Call them if you’d like.
Nudge a little! You don’t even have to make plans—or pretend you’re going to make plans. Just say hi.
That’s how you stay friends after all.
This guy has the mouth of a critic.
Photo by Alec Weir on Unsplash
How to compose a successful critical commentary:
You should attempt to re-express your target’s position so clearly, vividly, and fairly that your target says, “Thanks, I wish I’d thought of putting it that way.”
You should list any points of agreement (especially if they are not matters of general or widespread agreement).
You should mention anything you have learned from your target.
Only then are you permitted to say so much as a word of rebuttal or criticism.
I’ve often struggled with criticism (giving it, not getting it, although…) but this framework makes the endeavor seem much more doable. The same architecture could be used when giving verbal feedback to a play or a scene or a piece of writing, but I think works especially well in writing. Because how many times do you read a bad review that starts at a 10 on the apoplectic scale, inches higher, and then never actually explains the work it’s criticizing? The philosopher Daniel Dennett synthesized these rules based on Anatol Rapoport’s original ideas. I will try to remember them! (h/t Dingo)
My friend and former Tasting Table colleague Abby Reisner wrote a brand-new book about ranch. The dressing. I have fond memories of dipping Round Table Pizza in big white pools of the stuff. Brings me straight back to high school! Check out her recipes—and a mention in the New York Times!
Do you like these daily emails? Please share with a friend!
Thanks, as always, for reading.
Love, Kara