How to meet new people you actually like
Oh, hi friends!
I said in yesterday’s email “You become who you know.”
That’s nice! But how do you come to know new people? Here are a few ways to make friends (outside of work) as an adult:
Go to group things. Harder than it sounds, I know. There are screenwriter happy hours, group runs to Shake Shack, November Project meet-ups, all in Brooklyn alone, but “things” can also mean a wedding or weird cocktail events or that crochet class.
Support your friends’ things. Their improv show. Their work benefit. Chances are their other friends you’ve never met will go and guess what? You already have something in common!
Party, party. It’s the season of holiday parties. Go to them.
Talk to two people. When you’re at these things, talk to two people—that’s it. Everyone else is a bonus.
Find a common denominator. A person you both know, a favorite brie on the cheese board, doesn’t matter. Chat until you find more things in common—or things they’re excited to tell you about.
Ask questions. This is pretty much the key to life.
Say “Hey, we should stay in touch!” Give your card or email or Instagram. Get theirs.
Actually stay in touch. People are usually surprised after we exchange business cards and I email them the next day. SURPRISE! I’m a people collector and now you’re in my orbit!!!
Do stuff together. Brunch. Book festival. A talk at the library. Check out the Supermoon. Go for a run. I’ve found that activities forge friendships faster than a night of drinking. YMMV.
Make new old friends. My friend Charlotte and I worked together for two months back in 2008 before both getting laid off (at the same time! devastating). We didn’t see each other for seven years until Facebook updates made us realize we were both runners. One coffee meeting later and now we talk daily. Anyway: You’ve lost touch with high school, college, and old work friends. You liked them before—you might like them now.
Create a club. Here’s a secret: I created my monthly Brass Ring Summits because it’s sometimes sad working by yourself and I wanted to see my friends once a month. Now I do!
Write a newsletter. Whoops. Another secret. *waves* hi new friends I’ve met because of this email!
Some of these take work, but maybe they’re worthwhile? Especially if you or your ideas or your daily grind are feeling stagnant. Mix it up a little. Let me know how it goes.
“No one will ever write in just the way that you do, or in just the way that anyone else does. Because of this fact, there is no real competition between writers. What appears to be competition is actually nothing more than jealousy and gossip. Writing is a matter strictly of developing oneself. You compete only with yourself. You develop yourself by writing.”
Loved this quote from John McPhee’s latest book on writing—I haven’t had a chance to read yet but found this breakdown on Laura’s blog Ampersunder invaluable.
Speaking of Fun Things…
What are you doing next Wednesday? I’ll be at my brilliant and hilarious friend Carrie Seim’s holiday-themed storytelling show with more brilliant and hilarious comedy writers and musical guests. Come!
Ho Ho No! A night of true holiday tales gone wrong
Wednesday, Dec. 13 at 10:30 pm (doors/bar at 9:30 pm)
The Tank, 312 W. 36th St. @ 8th Ave.
Tickets $10 here.
Let's get festive and hang. Who's with me?
Do you like these daily emails? Please share with a friend!
Thanks, as always, for reading.
Love, Kara